LILY

LILY

BY: FATIMA ZAHRA 

I couldn’t believe this happened. Those sharp blue eyes and lovely smile were finally mine. It was just like a dream. I had never imagined that someone who was now standing by my side was my husband.

“Honey, why are you staring at me like that? Anything wrong with my face?” He asked me curiously.

“Umm… Nothing… I was just thinking…”

“Thinking about what? Would you mind telling me?” urged him.

“I was just thinking about… you…  You’re like a perfect prince in a fairy tale. Many girls out there want to be your wife. Why did you choose me? I’ve got nothing special. I’m not beautiful, I’m not smart, I’m not wealthy and I’m definitely not a ‘dream woman’ type.”

Then a sweet smile formed on his lips. His deep stare met mine.

“Who says you’ve got nothing special? For me, you are a princess, a protected peal, a priceless gift. You’re the most beautiful woman on earth.” He said seriously.

“Really? But…”

“Honey, listen. If I married you for your wealth, it would perish. If I married you for your beauty, it would fade away. I married you because of Allah, because of your deen. You are my dream woman. You are a righteous woman, you love Allah and our beloved Prophet, and you always help me with my deen. Maybe you’re the only one who doesn’t know that your inner beauty is so radiant. That made me fell in love with you.” He continued.

I couldn’t help my tears from falling hearing those words. I felt that Allah had really answered my prayer. Alhamdulillah… Thank You Allah for sending him to my life. He wiped my tears away with his hands gently.

“Don’t cry..."

“I’m crying because I’m too glad. I feel so blessed to have you in my life.”

“I love you for the sake of Allah…”

“I love you too for the sake of Allah...”

It was such an indescribable feeling. Standing side by side with my dearest husband, looking at the moon, loving and being loved in halal way, seeing the greatness of Allah, feeling the peace all around and thanking Him for all the blessings He had given.

‘Which of your Lord’s favors can you deny?’

***

Muhammad Yusuf. He was the only guy whose name had been written in my heart. We just got married almost a month ago. I’ve never imagined that I would be a wife of this ‘perfect prince’. He was a good-looking guy with wonderful akhlaq. I remembered the first time I met him. He was my new neighbor. He came to my city for a a business purpose. He rented a house beside mine. That evening, I was on my way home from university. As I walked through Yusuf's house, which is right beside mine, I heard a beautiful voice of someone reciting the holy Qur’an. It was almost similar to the voice of Sheikh Mishary Rashid Alafasy, my favorite Quran reciter. I felt calm and touched listening to the recitation. Tears rolled out of my eyes slowly. I wasn't sure whose voice was that, but it came from Yusuf's house. Secretly, I had fallen in love with that mysteriously beautiful voice.

At night I was standing by the window in my room, looking at the sky up there. The sky was so lovely with the full moon and stars hanging gracefully. I remembered about that mysteriously beautiful voice. I wish I'd have a husband who has a wonderful voice like that.

Tonight's view and that voice had inspired to write something. Yes, I did love writing so much, especially poems and short stories. I brought along my notes and put it on the edge of the window. Then I began to write.

Dear my future husband…

Tonight, when you see the moon

Be sure that we see the same moon

May The Owner of The Sky give us a chance.

Someday soon

We will see the moon

From the same window…

I stopped writing for a while. SubhanAllah… the moon was so beautiful tonight. Glory be to Allah who had created it. When I was looking at the moon, suddenly my notes was out of my handle and fell down.

“Astagfirullah!” I said automatically. I looked down and oops! It hit someone who was walking right down there. Oh my God!

"I'm really sorry." I said a bit loudly so that he could hear. He picked up my notebook and looked at me.

“Is this yours?” he asked. I nodded slowly.

"I'm really sorry..." I felt so guilty. Why was I so careless?

He smiled and said, "Never mind."

"Wait, I'll go down."

When I was about to leave my room, I heard someone said salaam outside the door of my house.

“Assalamualaikum,”

“Waalaikumsalam,” answered my dad who was reading a book in the living room. He then opened the door.

“Oh, son. Come in please.”

“Thank you, Sir, but I just wanted to give this book. Apparently, your daughter dropped it from her window.” He said while handing the notes to my dad.

“Really? That’s very kind of you, son. Come on in. Join us for dinner. Please don’t refuse it. It is my request.” My dad said. How strange! Why did my dad treat that guy specially as if he was an honored guest? Who was that guy actually?

“Annisa, dinner is ready.” My mom shouted from the dining room.

“Yes, Mom.” I said. I tidied up my hijab and went to the dining room nervously. I didn’t know why I could be so nervous like this.

“Annisa, this is Yusuf. He wanted to return your book that you dropped.” My dad said while handing my note book to me.

“JazakAllah. And I'm sorry that it hit your head..” I said.

"No problem." He smiled again then lowered his gaze.

It was my first meeting with him. Yusuf, a good looking guy with a pleasant manner. That was my first impression about him. And what a surprise, several months later, he asked my dad for my hand in marriage. I was so surprised when my dad told me about that. He was really serious. A quick introduction, a quick meeting, and a quick proposal. No haram relationship. I didn’t know about Yusuf very much and what made him interested in me. But, I admitted that there was a strange feeling in my heart. I wasn’t sure what this feeling called. After doing Istikharah prayer, I felt sure with my decision and gave him an answer with bismillah. Yes...

***

My marriage life was so beautiful. Yusuf had brightened up my life everyday. I could never thank enough to Allah for His great blessings.

Until one day, when my husband was away, I was cleaning up his working room at home. Accidentally, I found a photo in his drawer. It was a picture of a beautiful girl. She had blue eyes, fair complexion, slim body, and sweet smile. She looked very attractive. I was really curious who she was. Was she Yusuf’s crush…? A bad suspicion came into my mind. Astagfirullah… No! Impossible. Yusuf was a pious man. He would never cheat on me. Moreover, we just got married. I tried to get rid of my bad thoughts. I put the photo on the drawer back and went on cleaning the rest of the room.

When my husband came from his office, I didn’t ask him anything. I acted as usual. After greeting me, he kissed my forehead. He looked very tired, yet that lovely smile still existed on his face. Then he went straight to the bathroom to get cleaned up.

After performing Isha prayer together, we had our dinner. I made his favorite dinner. Honey baked chicken, chicken salad and strawberry cheese cake. He loved chicken a lot.

“Masha Allah, this is the most delicious dinner I’ve ever had. You’re not only beautiful but also a smart cook my love. I’m so lucky to have you.” He complimented my cooking, again. Well he did it almost every day, even when my cooking was too salty or too sweet. I felt so much appreciated.

“Thanks. Glad you liked it,”

I actually wanted to ask him about the photo that I found today in his drawer, but I ended up said nothing. I didn’t want to spoil this peace atmosphere. Perhaps it was just his acquaintance. I didn’t want to make him feel that his wife was being jealous. I was trying to keep positive. I tried not to think about it anymore.

***

The next day, when I was cleaning his working room again, I found a piece of paper next to the picture on his drawer. It was kind of a short letter.

Dear Lily,

How are you doing there?

Do you know how much I miss you right now?

I wish you were here with me.

I’ve been missing you a lot.

Love,

Yusuf

Tears rolled out of my eyes. Oh, so… her name was Lily? Yusuf missed her that much. She must have been very special for Yusuf. The pain in my heart was getting worse. I couldn’t stand anymore. I put the letter on the drawer back and ran to my bedroom.

I couldn’t help my tears from falling. Should I keep quiet? It really hurt to know that my husband loved someone else, missed someone else. How cruel he was. We just got married a couple months, but… Astagfirullah… Ya Rab… What should I do? Did my husband really cheat on me? I was so confused.

“Assalamualaikum, honey. It’s me.” Yusuf came. I wiped my tears away then went to the door.

“Waalaikumsalam,” I responded while opened the door. We came in.

“Honey, I got you this.” He said and gave me a bunch of Lily flowers. I was really surprised. He usually gave me Roses, but today he gave me Lily. Suddenly I remembered the picture and the letter that I found in his working room. He wrote it for a girl named Lily. I felt pain in my heart.

“You don’t like it?” He asked.

“I…” Oh My Lord, what should I do? Should I tell him?

“I don’t really like Lily.” I said.

“Oh, really? I’m sorry. I thought you liked it because Lily is so beautiful just like a lady…”

“If you liked Lily that much, why don’t you marry her instead?” That statement slipped out of my mouth suddenly. Oh God, what did I say?

“What? What are you saying honey?”

“Just be honest with me please. I can’t help it anymore. If you love Lily, why did you marry me? Marry her because she is so beautiful and sweet!” A frown formed on Yusuf forehead.

“Honey, apparently you are misunderstood… Let me explain…”

“Explain what? There is nothing to be explained. It’s all clear.”

I couldn’t help it anymore. I went outside and hailed a taxi. Yusuf tried to hold me back but it was too late. I got in the taxi and cried. Yusuf called out my name and knocked the window of the car. I didn’t care. I wanted to meet my mom right away.

***

It had been 2 days since that incident happened. I didn’t want to go back to our home. Instead I stayed in my parents’ house. I was not ready to meet Yusuf yet. I needed some days to calm my heart and mind down.

“Blarghhh!” I vomited again. I didn’t know why I felt queasy lately. I was not feeling well. Perhaps it was because I thought about my problems too much.

“Annisa, are you sick dear?” my mom asked.

“No, mom. I just need a little rest. Don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?” She asked me again. I nodded then sat on the sofa. My mom followed me and sat next to me.

“Annisa, when are you going to come back to your home? Yusuf is really worried about you. He called me and your dad many times to ask whether you’re still mad at him or not. He would pick you up anytime you want.” She said. I didn’t answer my mom. My head felt so heavy. I leaned myself on the sofa.

“Your husband has told me what really happened. Dear, you got misunderstood. He is not like what you're thinking. He is really a pious man. Actually, Lily was…” I couldn’t hear my mom’s words anymore. Suddenly everything became dark. I fainted. I didn’t know what happened next…

***

“Congratulation, Sir. You will be a father soon, insha Allah.” That was Doctor Ayesha’s voice. How could she be here? Where was I? I opened my eyes slowly. There was my mom, dad, Doctor Ayesha and… Yusuf?

“Alhamdulillah…Thank you, doctor.” My husband said excitedly. Then he looked at me.

“My lovely wife has woken up.” He stared at me so deep and smiled. “Honey, Alhamdulillah…Allah has sent us a great blessing from above. You will be a mother soon and I’ll be a father.”

He hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead. Was this true? It was hard to believe. Alhamdulillah… All praise is due to You, Ya Rahman… My mom, dad and doctor Ayesha congratulated me. Then, Doctor Ayesha left my room to take care of another patient.

“Apparently our baby would be a girl. Look, she is still in her mom’s womb, yet she has been jealous with her aunty.” Yusuf said again.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Lily. She was my sister. She was very close with me and I loved her very much. But she died two years ago. That’s why I missed her so much.” Yusuf explained. “That day was her birthday. I was missing her a lot. That’s why I wrote that letter. If you don’t believe me, here is the proof.” Yusuf show me his family picture. Oops! It was the girl whose picture I found in my husband’s working room. She was standing next to him in the picture. They had the same blue eyes.

“So… She was…” I couldn’t continue my words. I was very embarrassed. Yusuf giggled. My parents smiled.

“But why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to tell you but you already left.”

I couldn’t say anything more. I realized that it was just a misunderstanding. Astagfirullah…

“My dear husband… Please forgive me… I should have asked for your explanation first before taking my own conclusion. It’s my fault. Would you please forgive me?” I said. He stared at me and gave me a warm smile.

“Of course, my love. How can I be angry at the mother of my child?”

Alhamdulillah… I felt that I was the luckiest woman in the world. I had a super patient and wise husband. Now He gave me another great blessing; a baby. Allah is indeed The Most Merciful.  

“Anyway, honey…” he called me tenderly. “What if we name our baby, ‘Lily’?” he giggled again. “I was just joking. Hehehe…” He obviously teased me. I threw a pillow at him. He laughed even more.

Ah, those blue eyes… that sweet smile… He looked even more handsome when laughing. Rab, I realized I was wrong. I’ve learned a valuable lesson. Thank You Allah, You had opened my eyes. I didn’t want to let him down anymore. I wish to see that smile every day. May You guide me to be a righteous wife for him and a righteous mother for my children later. Insha Allah…

“And if you were to count Allah's favors, you would not be able to number them; most surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.” [Surah al-Nahl: 18]

***

THE END